Can somebody help?
I have been going out with a woman for 2 years now, she loves to go party and drinking every week end. My parents do not approve my relationship with her. I told my parents that I can change her once we get married. My parents told me I can't change her and that she'll become a problem if I marry her. Setita, I know you can help by providing some advice. Do you think I can change her? OR I will listen to what my parents say?
Good afternoon Fo'i'one'onena,
Thank you for the above post and of course I do admire your courage to share your personal story with our viewers.
I am sorry I can't give you any advice as I am not a trained counsellor especially in this area. However, you can contact the ALAC Pacific Help Line on 0800 787 799 - I'm sure they will be able to help you.
Kind regards
Setita.
(01-18-2011 04:18 PM)Fo'i'one'onena Wrote: [ -> ]Can somebody help?
I have been going out with a woman for 2 years now, she loves to go party and drinking every week end. My parents do not approve my relationship with her. I told my parents that I can change her once we get married. My parents told me I can't change her and that she'll become a problem if I marry her. Setita, I know you can help by providing some advice. Do you think I can change her? OR I will listen to what my parents say?
FO'I'ONE'ONE KOHO MAHAKI 'OU MASI'I KOE MAHAKI FAINGATA'A 'AUPITO, KE FAI HANO FAITO'O HE 'OKU FEKAU'AKI HANGATONU IA MOHO KAUME'A MAMAE PE KOHO'O FO'I 'OFA'ANGA,KOE ME'A PE KEKE SIO KIAI KOE KI'I FEFINE IA MAHALO KUO 'OLOKAHOLIKA MO'ONI PE IA.
PEA KOE KAKAI PEHENI 'OKU FU'U FAINGATA'A 'AUPITO IA KE TOE LAVA 'O LILIU HONAU U'A MEIHE KAVA MALOHI,PEA 'OKU NGALI FKPOTOPOTO ANGE MAHALO 'AE SIO IA HO'O ONGO MATU'A KEKE TOE SIOSIO LELEI PE MU'A,
HE 'OKU TOKO LAHI PE 'AE KAKAI FEFINE LELEI IA MO HAO HE PALOPALEMA KO'ENA 'OKU SI'I FIHIA AI HO FO'I 'OFA'ANGA MAMAE.
FEFE 'ENI KEMO KI'I TAKI TAHA MA'ANA PEA 'OUA NA'A MO TOE FETU'UTAKI HA NGAAHI 'AHO, NA'A LAVA AI 'AE KI'I FEFINE 'O TUKU A 'ENE INU KAPAU 'OKU NE 'OFA MO'ONI 'IA TEKOE.KOE ME'A 'E TAHA KEKE TALAANGE KIAI KOFE ME'A 'OKU NE FILI, KO KOE PE KOE 'OLOKAHOLO.
FK'OSI PE FO'I'ONE'ONE MANATU'I MA'U PE KOE 'AHO PE TEKE HA'I AI 'AE MAEA 'IHO KIA 'O TAVANI KIHE KIA HO FO'I 'OFA'ANGA. KO'ENE 'OSI IA HA'O TOE FAINGAMALIE KEKE SIOSIO LELEI AI.KOE TAUTAMATE PE MOE PALOPALEMA 'O A'U KIHO'O MATE,KAE 'OFA PE KE 'OUA NA'A SI'I UESIA AI SI'AMO FANAU HA 'AHO,'OFA ATU KIHO PALOPALEMA PEA FKTAUANGE KE KAU MAI 'A LANGI 'I HO'O FEKUMI KIHA'O FO'I 'OFA'ANGA KEMO NOFO FAIFELUTENI KIHE 'AHO 'OE MATE.
Fo'i'one'one
Malo 'etau ma'u 'a e 2011 ni neongo kuo tau mei 'osiki 'a e 'uluaki mahina.Ko e ki'i poupou atu pe ki ho'o fokotu'u fakakaukau.Ko e peseti lahi 'o e kakai ma'u kava malohi pea tautautefito ki hotau kakai pasifiki 'oku 'alu pe 'o a'u ki he tu'unga ko e ta'emapule'i.Ko e to e fakamamahi taha ko e a'u ki he tu'unga toputapu mo ngeia 'o si'i kakai fefine 'oku fehu'ia mo ia.Manatu'i 'oku tau kau he matakali 'oku fu'u pelepelengesi ai si'otau hou'eiki fafine pea koe'uhi ko 'etau tokosi'i pea 'oku lavea ngofua leva honau ( kakai feine) ongoongo.Kapau ko au koe te u tali 'a e fale'i ho'o matu'a.Faka'osi pe 'e Fo'i'one'one manatu'i 'a e pusi na'e liliu fefine.
Malo
Sitaleki
JUST REMEMBER YOU CANT TEACH AN OLD DOG, ASK HER TO CHANGE BEFORE YOU SAY "I DO" TO HER. YOU CANT CHANGE HER HABIT, SHE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CHANGE HER HABIT.
GOOD LUCK!
Masi'i Fo'i'one'onena, 'oku ongo ho'o tangi mai he koe tokoua koe pea koe Toga pe foki. 'Oku ou tui tatau au moe lau 'ae kau tama ko'ena 'i 'olunga. 'Ae lau Sitaleki, Toafa mo Tatau pea 'oku ou tu'u fakataha atu mo nautolu 'o kole fakamaatoato ke ke kalo kei taimi. He'ikai toe ongo'i koe ia 'eha taha 'o laka hake he ongo manava na'a na fa'ele'i koe. They will stand by you through thick and thin. Manatu koe kulii kai fua'imoa ia 'e kei kai fua'imoa ai pe ia 'o a'u ki ha'ane mate. Lahi pe fanga ki'i kau fefine lelei ke ke 'eva kiai. Kapau 'oku faingata'a pea ke fakalea hake pe kihe tama Nu'usila ko'ena Sitaleki ke ne fakataukei'i koe he ko hono mala'e ha ha ha. Kou tui pe te ke fai 'ae me'a 'oku totonu pea 'oua na'a ke fili kihe mate ka ke fili kihe mo'ui.
(01-20-2011 12:34 PM)Blood Wrote: [ -> ]Masi'i Fo'i'one'onena, 'oku ongo ho'o tangi mai he koe tokoua koe pea koe Toga pe foki. 'Oku ou tui tatau au moe lau 'ae kau tama ko'ena 'i 'olunga. 'Ae lau Sitaleki, Toafa mo Tatau pea 'oku ou tu'u fakataha atu mo nautolu 'o kole fakamaatoato ke ke kalo kei taimi. He'ikai toe ongo'i koe ia 'eha taha 'o laka hake he ongo manava na'a na fa'ele'i koe. They will stand by you through thick and thin. Manatu koe kulii kai fua'imoa ia 'e kei kai fua'imoa ai pe ia 'o a'u ki ha'ane mate. Lahi pe fanga ki'i kau fefine lelei ke ke 'eva kiai. Kapau 'oku faingata'a pea ke fakalea hake pe kihe tama Nu'usila ko'ena Sitaleki ke ne fakataukei'i koe he ko hono mala'e ha ha ha. Kou tui pe te ke fai 'ae me'a 'oku totonu pea 'oua na'a ke fili kihe mate ka ke fili kihe mo'ui.
Ko fo'i Oneone tama oku kii fefeka hono loto, hanga atu ia 'o taufale'i moe talangata'a lol
Kau tangata moe kau fefine 'oku 'oatu heni 'a e fakamalo loto hounga'ia mo'oni 'iho'omou anga'ofa ka mou vahevahe mai motu'a ni 'ae me'a 'oku totonu keu fai. Na'a ku hu mai 'ane uhu 'o lau ho'omou tokoni, pea u ogo'i mafana 'aupito he'eku 'ilo koe Tonga mo'oni kitautolu. Neongo 'etau fa'a to kehekehe 'ihe ngaahi tui fakapolitikale 'a hotau fonua ka koe taimi pe 'oku faingata'a'ia ai ha Tonga kuo pau pe ke tu'u mai 'ae Tongaa 'o tokoni. Kau tangata teu talanoa mo hoku kaume'a 'a efiafi pe kuo u fakamahino atu ai pe heni kiate kimoutolu, teu fakafoki aipe 'eau mo fakangata 'ae feohi 'oku ma fai. Kuo mou tu'u fakataha mai mo 'eku ongomatu'aa pea kuo u tui koe 'ofa mo'oni pe ia. 'ofa kaunga pilikimi.
'Fo'i'one'onena.
(01-20-2011 01:02 PM)Fo'i'one'onena Wrote: [ -> ]Kau tangata moe kau fefine 'oku 'oatu heni 'a e fakamalo loto hounga'ia mo'oni 'iho'omou anga'ofa ka mou vahevahe mai motu'a ni 'ae me'a 'oku totonu keu fai. Na'a ku hu mai 'ane uhu 'o lau ho'omou tokoni, pea u ogo'i mafana 'aupito he'eku 'ilo koe Tonga mo'oni kitautolu. Neongo 'etau fa'a to kehekehe 'ihe ngaahi tui fakapolitikale 'a hotau fonua ka koe taimi pe 'oku faingata'a'ia ai ha Tonga kuo pau pe ke tu'u mai 'ae Tongaa 'o tokoni. Kau tangata teu talanoa mo hoku kaume'a 'a efiafi pe kuo u fakamahino atu ai pe heni kiate kimoutolu, teu fakafoki aipe 'eau mo fakangata 'ae feohi 'oku ma fai. Kuo mou tu'u fakataha mai mo 'eku ongomatu'aa pea kuo u tui koe 'ofa mo'oni pe ia. 'ofa kaunga pilikimi.
'Fo'i'one'onena.
FO'I'ONE'ONE FK'OFO'OFA ME'A KOTOA KOLOA PE SIANA KEKE FIEMALIE MO FIEFIA HA 'AHO,PEA MA'U HA FEFINE KOEE 'E HA'U 'O HOKO KOHA FKTOKOLAHI KIHO FAMILI, KA 'OKU 'IKAI KEKE KUMI MAI HA TAHA KOEE 'E HA'U IA 'O VAHEVAHE'I MAKEHE KOE MEIA MAMI MO TETI HA 'AHO,MANATU'I MA'U PE KOE 'OLOKAHOLO 'OKU NE LILILILIU 'E IA E MATA 'OE TANGATA, MEIHONO MATA TOTONU KAE TUI MAI HONO PULOA FKTAUTAUELE 'ONA, KIHA TOE FU'U SIANA HA 'AHO PEA TEKE TOKI ONGO'I LEVA KUO MOLE HO'O KOLOA 'AE 'OFA. PEA SIVA LEVA MOHO'O 'AMANAKI KA KUO TOMUI.PEA TEKE TOKI MANATU LEVA KIHE LEA 'A HO'O ONGOMATU'A,PEA KOE FILI MASI'I HOTO 'OFA'ANGA KUO PAU KE FKPAPAU'I KE TONU PASIKA MO'ONI HE KA HALA KOE FK'OFA E KA KOE FO'I'ONE'ONE.
(01-18-2011 04:18 PM)Fo'i'one'onena Wrote: [ -> ]Can somebody help?
I have been going out with a woman for 2 years now, she loves to go party and drinking every week end. My parents do not approve my relationship with her. I told my parents that I can change her once we get married. My parents told me I can't change her and that she'll become a problem if I marry her. Setita, I know you can help by providing some advice. Do you think I can change her? OR I will listen to what my parents say?
Foioneone..you are the person who is going to marry her not our parents and don't try to change her (bad mistakes lol)..you can't change a person until they want to change themselves....well, girls sometimes have fun when they are single and once they married, they settle down and yous will be living happily ever after bahaha...........
(08-05-2010 01:13 PM)ipod Wrote: [ -> ]I grew up in the island kingdom of Tonga. My parents are church goers and become christians. I was told from young age that I should not touch alcohol because it is NOT good. They told me it is unchristian to drink alcohol and its effect or cosequences are bad. So, I valued that truth in my heart. No, I came to NZ in the 90s and got a job and work. This was a christian based organisation. One day we had a staff cerebration and I was shocked to see wine as part of the menu. Christians drank a glass or two of wine. To my observation, they were not drunk but they had a good time. I asked one of my friends, why are they drinking alcohol, I thought they are christians. My friend told me yes, they are christians but Jesus said it is ok to drink but not get drunk. I struggled with this for a long time and I decided to start taking a glass of wine, and another one and another one and another one! Now I am hooked to alcohol. Should I blame the palangi christians for my alcohol problem or should I just blame myself for not listening to my parents?
blame urself for being silly...everything is good until u abuse it lol...
(01-20-2011 01:02 PM)Fo'i'one'onena Wrote: [ -> ]Kau tangata moe kau fefine 'oku 'oatu heni 'a e fakamalo loto hounga'ia mo'oni 'iho'omou anga'ofa ka mou vahevahe mai motu'a ni 'ae me'a 'oku totonu keu fai. Na'a ku hu mai 'ane uhu 'o lau ho'omou tokoni, pea u ogo'i mafana 'aupito he'eku 'ilo koe Tonga mo'oni kitautolu. Neongo 'etau fa'a to kehekehe 'ihe ngaahi tui fakapolitikale 'a hotau fonua ka koe taimi pe 'oku faingata'a'ia ai ha Tonga kuo pau pe ke tu'u mai 'ae Tongaa 'o tokoni. Kau tangata teu talanoa mo hoku kaume'a 'a efiafi pe kuo u fakamahino atu ai pe heni kiate kimoutolu, teu fakafoki aipe 'eau mo fakangata 'ae feohi 'oku ma fai. Kuo mou tu'u fakataha mai mo 'eku ongomatu'aa pea kuo u tui koe 'ofa mo'oni pe ia. 'ofa kaunga pilikimi.
'Fo'i'one'onena.
Malo ia 'One'one e fakakaukau lelei. kei lahi pe ngaahi ika lelei he 'oseni kae 'oua te te to'oto'o valea ha taha te te mamahi ai he kaha'u.
Masi'i tokoua tukuange e koe fu'u palangi ko ena kake foki mai koe ki motuni o kumi atuu ha'o ki'i ta'u 23 koe ma'a atu mo faufaua ene fai eia e me'a koe talangofua ko Kava eni kuo osi folauu atu ia mo ene ki'i ta'u 25 neongo ene kili fkpopo'uli ka koe hau he si'i 'ofa 'ia Kava moe poto he anga....koia tokoua li'aki e koe fu'u muli ko ena he ko enau me'a 'anautolu ae kava malohi.
'One koe ta'u e 'e 2 ho'omo kaume'a pea koe mahino kiate au ko ho'omo fe'ofa'aki kuo faifeluteni pea kuo faingata'a ke toe veteki he koumo feangaiinga 'i ho'omo fanga ki'i fknanivi kehekehe he koe ta'u e 'e 2 ho'omo maheni,pea mo'oni pe ngaahi fale'i e ongo matu'a pea kohonau fatongia peia koe tala e lelei kotoa pe kihe fanau.
Ka 'oku kehe 'eku sio 'aku kapau 'oku 'ofa mo'oni ho kaume'a pea pehe kiho kaume'a kia koe kuo taimi ke fkhoko e mali ia he 'aho ni pe,pea koe vave taha ke fa'ele ai he koe taimi 'e sio ai ho mali kiha ki'i mata koe taimi ia 'oe liliu pea mo'oni ...pea mo'oni leva e lau e tohi talanoa e kau kiti.....and they live happily ever after pea mo toki ngaue aipe mo teletele 'ae fanga ki'i me'a 'oku teveteve he nofo mali he koe alea ia he nofo mali kou tui au 'oku tofuhia ai e taha kotoa ka koe sai moe kovi ko kimoua pe alea'i ,koia ai masi'i tokoua 'ai koe 'ena he kuomo 'osi fe'ofa'aki pea ka a'u atu ia kiha tu'unga 'oku 'ikai ha laka kimu'a kuo 'osi 'iai pe 'ae plan B koe vete he 'oku ngofua pe he pule'anga ...malo tokoua
FO'I'ONE TOKANGA KIFE FALE'I 'A DOG NA'A 'OKU SAI ANGE KEKE FAI 'AE PALANI B HE PALANI A HAHAHA,KOE LAU 'A DOG KEKE 'AI E PALANI A HE 'OKU 'IAI PE PALANI B,NGALI HALA IA.TONU 'A KAVA TUKUANGE 'E KOE FU'U TETEA KO'ENA HE KOE KALASI 'ENA IA KUO NAU TAUKEI KINAUTOLU IA HE ME'A NA.
(01-20-2011 01:02 PM)Fo'i'one'onena Wrote: [ -> ]Kau tangata moe kau fefine 'oku 'oatu heni 'a e fakamalo loto hounga'ia mo'oni 'iho'omou anga'ofa ka mou vahevahe mai motu'a ni 'ae me'a 'oku totonu keu fai. Na'a ku hu mai 'ane uhu 'o lau ho'omou tokoni, pea u ogo'i mafana 'aupito he'eku 'ilo koe Tonga mo'oni kitautolu. Neongo 'etau fa'a to kehekehe 'ihe ngaahi tui fakapolitikale 'a hotau fonua ka koe taimi pe 'oku faingata'a'ia ai ha Tonga kuo pau pe ke tu'u mai 'ae Tongaa 'o tokoni. Kau tangata teu talanoa mo hoku kaume'a 'a efiafi pe kuo u fakamahino atu ai pe heni kiate kimoutolu, teu fakafoki aipe 'eau mo fakangata 'ae feohi 'oku ma fai. Kuo mou tu'u fakataha mai mo 'eku ongomatu'aa pea kuo u tui koe 'ofa mo'oni pe ia. 'ofa kaunga pilikimi.
'Fo'i'one'onena.
FO'I 'ONE'ONE, PEHEE ANGE MAI KO HA FO'I MAKA KOE..FAKANGATA 'E KOE, KA OSI PEA KE PEHEE MAI KOE KI LALO KASIA I LOPAUKAME'A MOTU'A, HE FALE TALI'ANGA PASI 'I MU'A HE OFISI VAI TEMA TALI ATU AI MO MAKERITA. KE TAU KII EVA AI KO KAI HA'A TAU F'OI KEKE MEI HE SI'I-KAE-OLA. LOL OFA ATU FO'I SAND LOL ***FALAPOLALO'I 'A MAKERITA***
(01-27-2011 06:33 AM)kava lahi Wrote: [ -> ]Masi'i tokoua tukuange e koe fu'u palangi ko ena kake foki mai koe ki motuni o kumi atuu ha'o ki'i ta'u 23 koe ma'a atu mo faufaua ene fai eia e me'a koe talangofua ko Kava eni kuo osi folauu atu ia mo ene ki'i ta'u 25 neongo ene kili fkpopo'uli ka koe hau he si'i 'ofa 'ia Kava moe poto he anga....koia tokoua li'aki e koe fu'u muli ko ena he ko enau me'a 'anautolu ae kava malohi.
KAVA LAHI, MALO 'ETAU LAVA. KO E KOLE, KAUPAU OKU 'IAI HA KII TAMA 'I MOTU NA OKU ULUNGAANGA LELEI, POTO HE TOO TALO MOE TO UFI PEA TALA MAI KAU FEINGA ATU AU KI MOTU NA KE KUMI AI HA HOA.
MALO MALO E OFA LOL
Ko ia...te mou tu'o 20 mou3 te'eki tu'o noa au. Toe si'i keu kole kia Mali tu'o 4 ke momoi mai ha technique eeee. Ka te 'ai a kita ha fu'u 'ofefine houeiki na'a ma'u ha hako'i fkleiti.
KAVA LAHI, MALO 'ETAU LAVA. KO E KOLE, KAUPAU OKU 'IAI HA KII TAMA 'I MOTU NA OKU ULUNGAANGA LELEI, POTO HE TOO TALO MOE TO UFI PEA TALA MAI KAU FEINGA ATU AU KI MOTU NA KE KUMI AI HA HOA.
MALO MALO E OFA LOL
[/quote]
TA'AHINE TATAU KAU ENA IA HE KOLE FAINGOFUA....KUO IKAI TOE MOU'I HA TALO IA MOHA 'UFI HE KUO KAKAA E KELEKELE KA KOE KI'I MATU'A TOO KAPE PE OKU NAU I MOTUU KA OKU NAU TOO ENATOLU E KAPE O A'UU IA KIHA FA'AHINGA LALAHI TEKE LAVA PE KOE O KAKAA AI O FKSIOSIO HOLO KIHE KAUNGA'API KA KOE TAIMI KOEE TEKE HIFO AI KUOPAU KEKE 'ALU TU'ULUU HANGEE HA MOKO KAE PEHE PE MATU'A TA'AHINE KAKAA MO'ONI.......PEHE KEE ta'x FIEKAKA HONO TA'UNGA E FOLALAHI....OFA ATU TA'AHINE TATAU.
I want to know whether 'alani kept his word or not. It will be great if he's all good and all.